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My best friend ran away from home a couple days ago, ran and didn’t tell anyone anything. We searched for hours, all of us, and then we found her- late, but we did. The problem is everyone knows, now, about that rope she’s been walking for the last two years.  I used to be the only one who knew, you see, and so I could ignore it- but now I can’t look at her or think about her or talk to her without secondary shame creeping up my spine.

Because I knew all about the drinking and the reallyfuckingwrong boys and the pills. I should’ve seen this coming. I should’ve told her mum.

Sure, I did the expected thing; I tried to help. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve said “Promise this is the last time,” or the number of times she’s said “I promise.”

I even threatened to tell her mum about all those pills she took. She was scared, she got it, she promised and she meant it.

But she’d still do it all over again- it was just a matter of time. This is the worst though, worse than everything that lead to it.

What did you think was going to happen, love? Did you think nobody would care enough to notice? Did you think nobody would look? We did look, though, and now everything’s fucked to high heaven and either you fix it or it kills you.

But you’ve never been very good at picking the obvious option.

ETA: I went to her house today, and we talked for ages. She seems okay, I guess. Maybe this was a good thing. She talked to her parents, sorted herself out some. I hope this was a good thing. I want her to be okay.

Freedom and Legality

I'm finally done with mid- terms... they were pretty good, I guess. My mum (sweet lady) took away my laptop, so I'm riding on a wave of joy right now. I (sneakily) used the old, abused, decrepit Mac sitting in the bottom of my closet though, and I wrote some fic between horribly long sociology chapters.

It's nice to be free though, free of responsibility. And it's nice to have a kepypad LEGALLY under my fingers, too. Sneaky is all very well, but shoving a Mac under pillows every time I heard a creak was not fun, after a while.

So, here's the fic then... I don't really know what I was doing, or where I'm going with it, but it seemed to fit....

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Happy Birthday Harry<3, Skipping classes and future salt- tequila- lime chasers:)

Happy belated birthday, Harry and thanks for saving a hypothetical world that I am nonetheless in love with. And JK Rowling, happy birthday to you too, and ta very very much for making the last seven years of my life beautifully Hogwart-y <3

In other news, I've been ridden ragged by acres of holiday homework that i didn't think to touch during the ACTUAL holiday.

Now, however, I practically sleep with my econ textbook. I've been doing sums and writing papers pretty much non stop, and the come- down from my bee-yoo-tiful vacation high has been cruel and HARSH. Today I spent my entire school day finishing up a paper for Psych- writing with my book on my lap, under my desk, on my chair, propped up against my partner's very obliging back and at one point, crouched down UNDER my chair. I also turned around and did the bend-twist-hide-behind-hair thing to avoid my Psych teacher, but sadly my hair wasn't very good for covert-ops.

And then, when I was done, I sat down and SLEPT. Just drifted off to blissful, hazy, mercifully peaceful la la land, right there in the middle of my entrepreneurship class.

Of course, it didn't last. Obviously, Mr. S- my entre teacher couldn't let me be, because DUH i had to pay attention to Why Canoodling With Members Of The Opposite Sex Is a Deadly Sin, part 4, volume VII. This is a lecture he is fond of. He gives it to my class every week, at least twice. Sometimes he uses horribly disturbing metaphors and truly mind- shattering single entendres. Someday, I shall sue my school for extensive mental trauma.

Anyway, by the time recess rolled around, i was DESPERATE for release. So, when my best friend showed up and yanked me to the counselor's office for "career guidance", I was pretty much flat out sprinting away from class. It was the most enjoyable three hours I've had all week. We went to the councelor's office, and sat on the steps outside his door and talked about life, love, and Deep Philosophical Truths. Okay, not really. Mostly, we ate really bad hot dogs and watched the middle school kids stream out of class while we played yet another rousing round of Will He/She be Hot in Three Years?

Then we went in and Got Counseled. It was fun. I talked, she talked, he solemnly counseled us. I made up random phobias/mental issues/a history of schizophrenia, she made up random phobias/mental issues/extreme misogyny, he started to look confused. I talked about everything I could think of other than career guidance, she talked about everything she could think of other than career guidance, he began to tremble a little. I rambled, she rambled, he gave up and kicked us out after an hour and a half, with those two little pink slips of freedom: the hall passes.

We've decided that the only thing we're really sure about is that we want to have as much formal education as possible so that we can squeeze in as much carefree student alcoholism as possible.

Good times.

And now, more homework calls.


Okay, I just got back from the movie theatre, and wow, for once this was actually bearable! No time for a halfway human review, but yes, these are the first impressions I got off HBP: symbolism, symbolism, symbolism, hormones, hormones, hormones, pain, pain, pain, and


Really, who even cares about anything else?

However: I missed a bunch of bits from the book and I really, REALLY hated Shoelace!Ginny, but whatever. Harry. Draco. GLARING.

ETA: Watched it again. Picked up on some more nuances, read a bunch of LJ posts about it, and basically appreciate it a whole lot more, but massive amounts of love are still solely devoted to all the


Halfway human review shall be written as soon as I can get my sociology teacher to stop  BITING MY HEAD OFF.

: Will the head biting never cease??? I do have this little slice of tormented heaven, though. I realise that everyone on the planet has already seen it, but this is just one of those things that CANNOT be seen too many times. IT JUST CAN'T.

I say hello to LJ, Lily says buh-bye to Snape- firsties all around.

So this is a big fat first for me. It's my first fic, in any fandom- I've been a card carrying lurker for a year though- and my first blog post too.

I really wish I had something momentous and memorable to say, but nope, sadly I don't. Except maybe that I really hope this will be the start of a beautiful, fannish, cyber experience?

Yeah, I'm not great at momentous and memorable. Still, stick around, maybe I'll get there eventually :)

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